The First Day of School...

The first day of school was always something that gave me knots in my stomach, both as a student and as a teacher. But not once we started homeschooling four years ago. Being home with my kids during their school years was exactly what I never knew I always wanted. This year was different, though. I was more prepared by far this year - with a great schedule, a list of books I couldn't wait to dive into. And my kids were eyeing the books on the shelves like candy, "Please, can I just read a few pages?" Yet, I was also more anxious. Why? Maybe I'd put everything together so perfectly hoping for a perfect year, and didn't want to be dissappointed? I don't know. But as I sat on the front porch with my Bible, Señor Smith came out on his way to work. He sat down beside me for a moment, and I just started crying. I'm sure he felt full of confidence entrusting the soup ingredients to me and going out to earn our living at that point! But he actually did. And he gave me such encouragement. "You have been doing this for years. Yes, it is hard some days. Yes, we will have struggles. But we aren't doing this for each day to be perfect. There is a long term reward here, and look at how far we've come." I knew I married the right guy ;o) Well, off in Old Red (the truck we bought 12 years ago) he went. And I opened my Bible. Here is what I wrote that morning....

Jesus had a difficult task ahead (that puts it mildly - he was looking at death on a cross), so he prayed. He prayed and asked God to be glorified through him, among other things. He prayed for me, for all believers. Not that we would be taken out of this world, but that we would be protected from the evil one. I am so weary, and feel so anxious starting this school year today. It will be our fifth year - it isn't new to me. I opened my Bible thinking, "God, I bet you are going to speak to me today about my fears regarding school." I almost dared Him to try. And sure enough, I was on John chapter 17. So like you, God. Do I have a cross to bear? Nothing like Jesus' cross. Which gives me some perspective and does help. Do I have a difficult task that God has called me to? Absolutely. But Lord, please glorify yourself through it. I lay out my weak, sinful flesh, and give it to you as clay to mold. Give me a gentle answer when my children disobey or argue. Let our work together bring honor to you. Let me be a light before my children. To model your love and patience and mercy. Let me so show them your love that they see You in me. Love you, Lord.